


Words always fail me

by Impaxful



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Nonbinary Jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impaxful/pseuds/Impaxful
Summary: This is me self projecting onto Jeremy because I personally head cannon him as non binary.





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy sighed, they would have to go into the boys bathroom again. They hated the fact that there were no gender neutral bathrooms in the school other than in the nurses office, and they didn't have time to go all the way there and back unless they wanted to be late for their history class. They opened the door, ignoring the two boys that were messing around, and writing on the walls as they walked by. Luckily, they got the largest stall where they could pee in peace.

They ran a hand through their curly brown hair after they finished washing their hands, as they looked at their reflection. They hated the fact that they hadn't told anyone yet. Not even Micheal. In all honesty, they were still adjusting to calling themselves 'they' instead of 'he', as they had only discovered that they could identify as something other than a boy a short while ago. It did make them more comfortable, and made sense in their head. They had never really felt like they were a boy, but they were never a girl either. Someone knocked on the door, scaring them out of their thoughts. "Hey man, some of us need to pee." Jeremy breathed out, before nodding and opening the door. As much as it made them feel uncomfortable being called 'man' they felt they couldn't say anything. After all, he didn't know what they identified as. Not that it was any of his business to know. Jeremy walked past the guy who rolled his eyes and walked in. Other than the two of them, the boys bathroom was empty, the other two boys had walked out. Jeremy gave a soft sigh of relief and grabbed their bag from where it rested on the undoubtedly dirty ground. Another day in hell, they supposed.

 

Micheal waved at them from his desk when he saw them through the classroom window. The other one, which belonged to them, was empty except for a fruit by the foot roll up still in its packaging. Jeremy laughed as they sat down and opened it up. Considering they hadn't had anything to eat during lunch -Jeremy theorized that the schools 'mystery meat' was radio active- this was a god send. Their stomach felt close to eating itself.

"Thanks Micheal!" They said with a full mouth. Micheal laughed, putting his feat up on the desk and leaning back in his chair casually, despite Jeremy's warnings about the chair slipping and him hitting his head.

"Of course dude! Hey, we have a sub today, so if you feel like it, we can skip and get some actual food." Micheal almost looked like he hoped Jeremy would say yes. Jeremy thought about it for a second, before nodding. 

"Yeah. I'm starved." Micheal's eyes lit up, and he nearly fell out of his seat when the substitute-a young woman who didn't really seem to care all that much- came into the room and began to take roll call. She either didn't notice or care when Micheal and Jeremy walked out the door, claiming they were using the bathroom.

 

Jeremy sighed as they sat in the passengers seat of Micheal's PT cruiser. It was so much nicer than the freezing building that was the school. It was the reason they wore their warm, blue cardigan everyday, and Jeremy figured that was why Micheal wore his sweatshirt as well. Micheal started the engine. "Where do you want to go to eat? I have a bunch of money from doing chores this week." Jeremy shrugged.

"Anywhere but here." Micheal's eyes flickered over to them as he drove. He had seen that look on his friends face before. Only a few times, but enough to know something was wrong with his best friend. 

"You okay?" Jeremy shifted so they could look out the window without straining their neck, and rested their head on their hand.

"Fine. Just a lot on my mind I guess." Micheal's eyes moved back and forth between Jeremy and the road.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jeremy did. They really, really did. They opened their mouth to talk but nothing came out. They just couldn't find the words to explain everything they've been feeling. Micheal pulled into a Mcdonalds parking lot and stopped the car. "That's okay, if you don't feel like telling me now, you don't have to." But Jeremy wanted to tell him now. Their shoulders slumped. This was tougher than they thought it would be. Micheal smiled softly. "But when you do, don't be afraid to talk to me alright? I'm here for you, player two." Jeremy smiled at the nickname as Micheal got out of the car. Jeremy followed suit, throwing an arm around their friend as the two walked across the parking lot.

The meal was almost awkward with Jeremy's thoughts roaring inside their head, keeping them from talking all that much. Luckily, Micheal did most of the talking for them. "Did you see they're rebooting apocalypse of the dammed? The new graphics look sick!" Jeremy took a bite of their double pounder cheese burger as he talked. "They even added new playable characters!" He ate a chicken nugget before continuing. "Its gonna be awesome!" They smiled, they just loved seeing him so excited, but the game wouldn't come out for at least another three months.

"Yeah." Their mind screamed for Jeremy to say something, anything about everything they were feeling. Micheal had no idea how much they wanted to just say it, but the words got stuck in their throat every time they tried. It was frustrating to say the least. Micheal bit his lip.

"Are you sure you're okay? I would of thought you would be really excited." 

"I...don't know." They answered honestly, eyes looking to the table. They suddenly felt Micheal's hands on their shoulders. Jeremy looked up and saw their friend smiling softly.

"Lets get out of here." 


	2. Chapter 2

So there Jeremy was in their living room sitting next to Micheal, and Rich as the three playing Super smash bros. So far, Micheal was killing everyone. Including the NPC's. Then Rich killed their Kirby.

"Get wrecked-" Jeremy interrupted Rich with a playful smirk on their face.

"If you say scrubs I will take your controller." Rich laughed, before Micheals Mario took out Rich's Bowser on his last life. The small teen threw down the controller. 

"Mike, how'd you get so good at this game?" Rich asked, now watching Micheal and Jeremy fight. 

"I have three older brothers. We used to play this game all the time before they all went off to college." Micheal said, smiling. Jeremy nodded. 

They felt good. It was of the few times they could stop thinking about their gender and everything going on in their head. One of few times they could let go, and just be them without.

Jeremy cheered as they won the battle. Micheal looked at them. "I let you win that round." He said. Jeremy rolled their eyes.

"Yeah sure." Jeremy stood from the couch and went to the fridge. "You guys want anything?" They asked, shifting through all the food to get what they were looking for. When they found the chicken from last night, they grabbed it out of the fridge. 

"How about a sandwich?" Rich asked, walking into the kitchen, pulling out his phone and leaning agaisnt the counter. "What do you have?" Jeremy shrugged. 

"Some chicken, we have some baloni..." They started thinking of the things in the house. "I think we have some meatballs left if you want to do that." Rich nodded, already knowing he'd get to make it himself. "Any for you, Micheal?" 

"Nah I'm good." Micheal said from the other room. 

Jeremy sighed, and started heating up their chicken. 

"Dude, how much food do you have in here?" Rich asked, looking around, and grabbing a bunch of snacks. 

"I thought you wanted a sandwich."

"I changed my mind." Jeremy rolled their eyes, laughing. "So Jer, what's your Tumblr identity?" It got very quiet at Rich's question. Jeremy looked away.

"What do you mean?"

"What are you on there?"

"Nonbinary!" Micheal called out. Jeremy felt a pit form in their stomach. They stayed silent, refusing to look at Rich. The boy himself looked at Jeremy.

"I wasn't going to make fun of you for it." Micheal walked in the room. His eyebrows furrowed at Jeremys face. They could tell something was wrong. Micheal had always been better at reading them than anyone else.

"Jer, you okay?" Jeremy put on a fake smile, and nodded.

"I need to use the bathroom." They left the room, closing the door behind them. They felt like crying or throwing up or both. They looked at themselves in the mirror, and wondered of Rich and Micheal would ever belive them of they told them that they were actually nonbinary. Something hurt inside of them. It wasnt going away like it usually did. They breathed out, and left the bathroom, putting the smile back on their face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosley based on something that happened last night.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this is really short but it gets the feelings across.
> 
> My tumblr is Geo-has-luck if you want to pop in and say hi!


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